Here is a list of my favourite songs which are officially terrible, as in you would not stick them on if you brought a date home but would hide the albums in your wash basket with your soiled grots rather than admit you owned them. My bete noire Ciaran would suggest that everything I listen to is terrible, but as his favourite band is Hayseed Dixie he can go whistle.
Godley & Creme - Cry
Famous for it's hideous shape shifting video and Kevin Godley's massive beard if this was recorded by Radiohead it would be a lighters aloft weepy anthem instead of hogging the bargain bins. Best bits are the really high pitch shift at the end and the strange spacious production which is quite at odds to the usual kitchen sink productions of most 80s pop, Dub-MOR if you will.
Touch - Don't You Know What Love Is / When The Spirit Moves You
Massive cheesy power pop/soft metal also rans, bizarrely produced by the Tim Friese-Greene who worked on Talk Talk's brilliant last two albums, the mortgage needed paying eh Tim? Everything is overblown but is oddly soulful in it's own grotesque way, much more Todd Rundgren than Bon Jovi. No one knows why it never happened for them but a disastrous performance at Donington where the bass player swallowed a bee on stage and had to be carted off to A+E probably didn't help...
Detective - One More Heartache
Zeppelin clones who were championed by Jimmy Page who was in the running to produce this album until heroin led apathy got the better of him. What else is there to say that the massive opening drum salvo doesn't say already? I have sampled this already for a tune so hands off!
The Cars ― Moving In Stereo
Know for dire cynical skinny tie cobblers, The Cars lead singer produced some surprisingly credible bands on the side including Suicide and Bad Brains. Their albums always had at least one droning electronic Suicide tribute amid the fluff, this being the best example. Everything is so icy and riddled with sang froid you feel the need to run out into the street and hug a stranger post listen in a desperate desire for human body heat. A note for our overseas students, this is not advised in Dalston or Brixton.
Cristina - Things Fall Apart
A bit of a cult classic this, for everyone who thinks Noel is a big pile of pig balls, doleful, oddly sexy vocal over metal guitars, what's not to like? The song sounds like the model from Kraftwerk's The Model got to write her own song. Makes sense as Cristina was a model and girlfriend of the millionaire owner of the label ZE which released this Christmas turkey to resounding lack of success. Features a description of everyone's classic Xmas party from hell:
The party was a huge success,
"But where should we go next?" they said.
They'd killed a tree of ninety-seven years,
And smothered it in lights and silver tears.
They all got wrecked, they laughed too loud,
I started to feel queasy in the crowd,
I grabbed a cab back to my flat,
And wept a bit,
And fed the cat.
Pavlov's Dog - Natchez Trace
Spectacular spaghetti AOR, a deranged clash between Journey's shrieking vocals and Sergio Leone guitars. The whole album is simultaneously repellent and addictive. The record company must have torn their hair and nashed their teeth at all these great songs being sung by a man whose balls had failed to drop. Featured a fat dog licking it's chops on the cover as if that would help matters.
Robert Fripp and Daryl Hall - North Star
A nightmarishly unlikely collaboration between the dark lord of prog rock guitar, King Crimson's Robert Fripp, and the crown prince of the blow dry/back comb Daryl Hall, 80's "soul" star, AKA the one without the tach' in Hall & Oates. Who knows how they met or why they chose to collaborate but this is a strangely lovely thing despite Hall's over singing, sounds at points like he's having a tilt at Pavlov's Dog's highest voice in AOR title.
Al Di Meola - Race With The Devil on a Spanish Highway
Steady ladies, remember women were powerless under the comb over and three piece suit (with weak chin disguising beard) combo in the 1970's. Dismissed as "prattle wank" by LSS tutor Ben Wood, bear in mind though that Ben dislikes anything in music unless it is three minutes long, sung by a white guy with a skinny tie and has a guitar going "a chak a chang" before a big chorus about luv. Whether the musicians saw it or not at the time jazz fusion is best approached with a healthy sense of comedy, so much talent and skill going into producing music of such idiocy. Then you can sit back and enjoy the cop show riffing, mach speed axework and terrific title.
Please note LSS will most definitely NOT teach you to produce any of this toss while studying with us (Editor)
Maningrey
"Terrible Music I Dig" > read the full post
Showing posts with label Bad Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Music. Show all posts
Monday, 30 May 2011
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Best ever cover versions!
Tired of watching some pony tailed oaf (no offense Ciaran) strumming a tuneless acoustic version of "Bittersweet Symphony" on the tube? Well here are some top covers to warm the cockles of yer jaded heart...
The Residents - Satisfaction
Brutal dismemberment of the Stones classic, out dweebs even Devo's version by some way. Reminds us there are many more things to be worried about in the world than if a girl will not make out with you (but not many).
Big Black - The Model
Talking about dweebs, check this out! Kraftwerk's cool dispassionate ode to the unattainable is turned into a nerd's stalker anthem.
Rapemen - Just Got Paid
Charmingly named and the second Steve Albini related cover, ZZ Top this time, what can I say the guy has a knack for great cover versions (still shit with names though). As funky as the original but with an writhing mass of noise where a slide guitar solo should be.
Judas Priest - Diamonds and Rust
Joan Baez folk dirge about what a twat Bob Dylan was is mangled into a storming, none more metal shriek, tailor made for thousands of screaming Japanese people to wave their arms to.
James Chance - Jailhouse Rock
Elvis provides a veritable gold mine of cover versions that out do the originals, check out this racket, worth it just for the intro.
No embedding with this mutha unfortunately:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNry5C4PIrM
John Cale - Heartbreak Hotel
If there was ever a song for a miserable Welshman to sing this is it. Years of bitterness about how Lou Reed wrote all the best songs for the Velvets come to the surface in this suicide note in song.
Annette Peacock - Don't Be Cruel
If you like your dose of The King delivered as a sultry samba the eccentric Ms Peacock is your woman. Just bought her long unavailable album "I'm The One" for £30, signed and everything..
Jimi Hendrix - Come On
Better know for his Dylan cover I like this off the cuff version of an old New Orleans classic because it captures Hendrix at his most exuberant. You can almost hear the strings snapping on the fret board as he wails away, leaving the white boys in the rhythm section for dust.
Dinosaur Jr - Just Like Heaven
As with most of J Mascis' work it's hard to tell if this is a genuine tribute or a piss take, but isn't that the best thing you can get from a song? I hate The Cure but I love this so if it's a tribute it's worked.
Muddy Waters - Mannish Boy
Credited to Muddy but pretty much a straight lift of Bo Diddley's "I'm A Man" this is what most people think of when you say the word "blues". Bo's swaggering original is turned into something monumental, if you are looking for the roots of heavy metal you could do worse than this.
Van Halen - Ice Cream Man
The boys did a blazing version of "You Really Got Me" but I like this one as firstly nobody has heard of the original and secondly it's possibly the first time ever where a white heavy metal cover of an old blues song actually captures the raunch, swing and humor of it all.
peace
Maningrey
"Best ever cover versions!" > read the full post
Friday, 13 August 2010
Noise Annoys: A Taste of DNA...And Other No Wave Delights
I just re-bought a CD by DNA, avant garde punk titans, and it opened up a world of unlistenable New York "No Wave" bands whose only mission statement was to annoy...
In the early 80's a group of bands sprang up who thought punk was growing soft, if indeed it had ever been that tough to begin with. With a foot planted in both the art and the music world these artists blended the two disciplines until music and performance were intrinsically linked in their presentations, as much influenced by Andy Warhol and Jasper Johns as The Ramones and Television. If this sounds all very pretentious it is worth remembering that they all produced an invigoratingly unholy racket as well as talking bollocks...Most considered such punk icons as Patti Smith to be as boring as the mainstream bands that early CBGB's punk was meant to replace such as The Eagles. The No Wave acts consumed drugs, partied and rocked as hard as Led Zeppelin, it's just their music was about a primitive NOW rather than goblins and wizards.
Egg headed pretention-meister Brian Eno picked up on the emergent scene and decided to document it in the epical album "No New York" which gathered together four of the most original groups and spread the nihilistic message. It was originally going to feature 10 acts but featured artist James Chance persuaded Eno that his band and friends were the only people worth featuring proving that rock star egomania thrived even in this defiantly "non rock" environment...
Below are a few of the best No Wave bands, "best" is a loose term, most of them are equally irritating and one of our tutors said DNA should be renamed DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). A good place to get an idea of the world that spawned this underground phenomenon is the film Downtown 81. This is a rambling mildly fictionalised day in the life of graffiti artist Jean Michel Basquiat who wonders about spray painting, looking stoned and running into gigs and rehearsals featuring a selection of No Wave acts including DNA, James Chance, members of Blondie pretending to be a No Wave band, Debbie Harry as a fairy godmother and oddly Kid Creole....
The live clips below are mainly from this film and give you an idea of the quirky energy of No Wave.
DNA
James Chance and the Blacks
Mars
Teenage Jesus and the Jerks
A compilation was released by Soul Jazz called New York Noise which gives a good round up of the main players if you want to investigate further...
maningrey
"Noise Annoys: A Taste of DNA...And Other No Wave Delights" > read the full post
Thursday, 15 July 2010
Friday, 2 July 2010
Power Pop Mix Tape
I've been going through a power pop phase, possibly due to the weather, mostly because it makes the hellish tube journey surrounded by grunting sweating cow people bearable on the way to werk...OK OK I'm going a bit Son of Sam, it's this dam heat!
Here is a classic ten track comp of the very best of Power Pop for you...
The Raspberries: Go All The Way
Dig the furry bouffants, Revlon trousers and double necked "axe", Snap your fingers to the groovy graphics and wah wah intro music of the show, revel in the "recorded in a coal mine" sound...Everything you want from a 70's talk show and power pop band! The Raspberries were the rocking grandpappies of all things power and popping providing its basic ingredients namely an Anglocentric love of crunchy guitars from The Small Faces and The Who, a layering of American street corner Doo Wop, short catchy tunes as a reaction against the meandering heavy rock soloing of the time and a desire to get back to when music was fun and made for drinking cokes at the drive in, copping a feel in your dad's caddy...and big big hair and collars..
These guys started with a bang and a top 10 hit as "Go All The Way"'s saucy lyrics escaped the censors in a wash of sweet harmonies (yes they had censors back then kids), released four killer albums that went unbought, then imploded after the brilliant last gasp hit of "Overnight Sensation". The list of classics is endless: "On The Beach", "Tonight", "Ecstasy", "I Reach For The Light"....
Dig the furry bouffants, Revlon trousers and double necked "axe", Snap your fingers to the groovy graphics and wah wah intro music of the show, revel in the "recorded in a coal mine" sound...Everything you want from a 70's talk show and power pop band! The Raspberries were the rocking grandpappies of all things power and popping providing its basic ingredients namely an Anglocentric love of crunchy guitars from The Small Faces and The Who, a layering of American street corner Doo Wop, short catchy tunes as a reaction against the meandering heavy rock soloing of the time and a desire to get back to when music was fun and made for drinking cokes at the drive in, copping a feel in your dad's caddy...and big big hair and collars..
These guys started with a bang and a top 10 hit as "Go All The Way"'s saucy lyrics escaped the censors in a wash of sweet harmonies (yes they had censors back then kids), released four killer albums that went unbought, then imploded after the brilliant last gasp hit of "Overnight Sensation". The list of classics is endless: "On The Beach", "Tonight", "Ecstasy", "I Reach For The Light"....
Cheap Trick: Candy
After the Raspberries, power pops greatest band, and biggest sellers. In fact the only reason they are not the top pick is their later decent into hair metal horribleness in the 80's with No1 power ballad "The Flame"...Mutated the basic template for PP by beefing up the guitars and warping the previously innocent fun and girls lyrical imagery with tales of pedophiles and gigolos. This song takes suicide as the cheery template but wraps up in jangle and harmonies until the chilling final line. Da Trick also had the amusing conceit of playing up the discrepancies in looks between the dorky guitarist and overweight drummer, who would feature on the back covers of the albums and the interchangeable dreamboat singer and bassist. On one album the dreamboats lounge on custom choppers under the albums title, on the back the uglies are riding tiny midget peddle bikes..
After the Raspberries, power pops greatest band, and biggest sellers. In fact the only reason they are not the top pick is their later decent into hair metal horribleness in the 80's with No1 power ballad "The Flame"...Mutated the basic template for PP by beefing up the guitars and warping the previously innocent fun and girls lyrical imagery with tales of pedophiles and gigolos. This song takes suicide as the cheery template but wraps up in jangle and harmonies until the chilling final line. Da Trick also had the amusing conceit of playing up the discrepancies in looks between the dorky guitarist and overweight drummer, who would feature on the back covers of the albums and the interchangeable dreamboat singer and bassist. On one album the dreamboats lounge on custom choppers under the albums title, on the back the uglies are riding tiny midget peddle bikes..
The DB's: Bad Reputation
Coming a bit after power pops 70's peak, The DB's meshed the same basic ingredients as their predecessors but replaced the Doo Wop elements with a gnarly punky attack borrowed from GBGB's band Television. However they still worshiped The Beatles, unlike punks, and were generally superior players, again unlike punks, leading to a new wiry version of classic PP. This song also enshrines the classic PP lyrical subject, the cool girl who is always just out of reach to the inevitably specky singer.
Coming a bit after power pops 70's peak, The DB's meshed the same basic ingredients as their predecessors but replaced the Doo Wop elements with a gnarly punky attack borrowed from GBGB's band Television. However they still worshiped The Beatles, unlike punks, and were generally superior players, again unlike punks, leading to a new wiry version of classic PP. This song also enshrines the classic PP lyrical subject, the cool girl who is always just out of reach to the inevitably specky singer.
The Knack: Baby Talks Dirty
Oh god should this go on the list?? The Knack had a huge hit with "My Sharona", one of the biggest singles of the 70's which sold like an album. They were then subject to a brutal backlash dubbed "Knuke The Knack", instigated by a press disgruntled by their perceived lack of integrity (who cares?) and sexist lyrics (fair enough). This was the follow up single after the campaign and it scraped the top 40, if The Knack were trying to make up lost ground this unpleasantly catchy ode to picking up teenage sadomasochists was the wrong way to go about it. The gasping mewls in the verses are teeth grindingly obscene, while the fact that singer Doug Feiger looked like a deranged insurance salesman and sings with such lipsmacking relish only completes the package...there is also a negative side...
Oh god should this go on the list?? The Knack had a huge hit with "My Sharona", one of the biggest singles of the 70's which sold like an album. They were then subject to a brutal backlash dubbed "Knuke The Knack", instigated by a press disgruntled by their perceived lack of integrity (who cares?) and sexist lyrics (fair enough). This was the follow up single after the campaign and it scraped the top 40, if The Knack were trying to make up lost ground this unpleasantly catchy ode to picking up teenage sadomasochists was the wrong way to go about it. The gasping mewls in the verses are teeth grindingly obscene, while the fact that singer Doug Feiger looked like a deranged insurance salesman and sings with such lipsmacking relish only completes the package...there is also a negative side...
Tom Petty: Century City
Dear old Tom Petty, was there ever a more silky blonde barnet? The fact that Tom spent his entire career trying to cross Dylan and The Byrds and ends up being ripped off by The Strokes (compare "Last Nite" with "American Girl") only shows how wrong he got it, but in a good way. All of "Dam The Torpedoes" is great but this is the most rocking song, I enjoy the fact that admitting to enjoying artists like Petty will make certain of your friends look at you like you are a rapist, which makes the guilty pleasure all the guiltier and more pleasurable...
Dear old Tom Petty, was there ever a more silky blonde barnet? The fact that Tom spent his entire career trying to cross Dylan and The Byrds and ends up being ripped off by The Strokes (compare "Last Nite" with "American Girl") only shows how wrong he got it, but in a good way. All of "Dam The Torpedoes" is great but this is the most rocking song, I enjoy the fact that admitting to enjoying artists like Petty will make certain of your friends look at you like you are a rapist, which makes the guilty pleasure all the guiltier and more pleasurable...
Todd Rundgren: Couldn't I Just Tell You
Amid the egocentric jumble of philly soul, garage rock, show tunes and in-jokes that was Todd's classic album "Something/Anything" lay a brilliant stab at ringing power pop. This is a period where even John Lennon referred to Todd as "God" and he just seemed to churn out classic songs, it all went horribly wrong of course...Growing bored with the ease with which he had mastered classic songwriting Todd yearned for greater complexity and formed the hideously misnamed prog band "Utopia", the hits dried up and he ended up joining The Cars...There is a moral here I feel..
Amid the egocentric jumble of philly soul, garage rock, show tunes and in-jokes that was Todd's classic album "Something/Anything" lay a brilliant stab at ringing power pop. This is a period where even John Lennon referred to Todd as "God" and he just seemed to churn out classic songs, it all went horribly wrong of course...Growing bored with the ease with which he had mastered classic songwriting Todd yearned for greater complexity and formed the hideously misnamed prog band "Utopia", the hits dried up and he ended up joining The Cars...There is a moral here I feel..
The Cars: My Best Friend's Girl
Which brings us to..The Cars! Another basically awful group, like The Knack, who seemingly sold their souls to the devil for the ability to churn out toe tapping new wave. The down side being that most people would rather be flayed alive than admit to liking them. Tall beaky singer Ric Ocasek produced some pretty cool bands like Suicide and Bad Brains so he can't have been all bad but The Cars were a cold hearted hit machine like The Police. It is odd that they were so popular as the underlying sound is of 60's garage rock and bubblegum pop but played by machines who will one day turn on their creators and destroy them...this is their best track before the fear and loathing of "Drive"...
Which brings us to..The Cars! Another basically awful group, like The Knack, who seemingly sold their souls to the devil for the ability to churn out toe tapping new wave. The down side being that most people would rather be flayed alive than admit to liking them. Tall beaky singer Ric Ocasek produced some pretty cool bands like Suicide and Bad Brains so he can't have been all bad but The Cars were a cold hearted hit machine like The Police. It is odd that they were so popular as the underlying sound is of 60's garage rock and bubblegum pop but played by machines who will one day turn on their creators and destroy them...this is their best track before the fear and loathing of "Drive"...
The Nerves: Hanging on The Telephone
These guys produced one four song EP and then broke up so there is not much to tell other than that it contained this track, subsequently a massive hit for Blondie. While the version by Debs and the boyz is fine the jittery clammer of the original is much more effective in conveying the paranoia of the lyric. Two of the band went on to form cult acts The Plimsouls and The Beat (US version not the ska band), while the guy who wrote this vanished into probably very wealthy obscurity...
These guys produced one four song EP and then broke up so there is not much to tell other than that it contained this track, subsequently a massive hit for Blondie. While the version by Debs and the boyz is fine the jittery clammer of the original is much more effective in conveying the paranoia of the lyric. Two of the band went on to form cult acts The Plimsouls and The Beat (US version not the ska band), while the guy who wrote this vanished into probably very wealthy obscurity...
Blondie: Will Anything Happen
...But not before penning this song which Blondie also covered on the classic "Parallel Lines" album. A fraught tale of unfullfilled rock n' roll dreams, ambition and failure, the song works so well because Deborah Harry seems to have lived every word she sings. Great guitars as well from Chris Stein and Frank "the Freak" Infante, never really mentioned on all time best guitar band lists the Blondie guys could really churn out a racket for a supposed "pop" act.
...But not before penning this song which Blondie also covered on the classic "Parallel Lines" album. A fraught tale of unfullfilled rock n' roll dreams, ambition and failure, the song works so well because Deborah Harry seems to have lived every word she sings. Great guitars as well from Chris Stein and Frank "the Freak" Infante, never really mentioned on all time best guitar band lists the Blondie guys could really churn out a racket for a supposed "pop" act.
Big Star: September Gurls
Maybe the definitive power pop anthem, Big Star's first two albums basically invented 90's indie, for better or worse..Needless to say in the era of Emerson, Lake and Palmer their albums sold virtually nothing but their influence is huge. One of the few bands who never recorded a bad song and broke up while still good.
Maybe the definitive power pop anthem, Big Star's first two albums basically invented 90's indie, for better or worse..Needless to say in the era of Emerson, Lake and Palmer their albums sold virtually nothing but their influence is huge. One of the few bands who never recorded a bad song and broke up while still good.
Other bands who have produced at least one classic that fits the power pop template include:
The Flamin' Groovies: Shake Some Action
The Records: Starry Eyes
The Replacements: Alex Chilton
Joe Jackson: Is She Really Going Out With Him
The Pretenders: Kid
Badfinger: No Matter What
The Only Ones: Another Girl, Another Planet
Maningrey
"Power Pop Mix Tape" > read the full post
Friday, 25 June 2010
Tune Burglers!
..But sometimes it is! Some odd soundalike songs have been bugging me, I want to know is it just me?? Read on...
CAN: Vitamin C vs 24 Carat Black: 24 Carat Black Theme
This is an odd one simply because of the disparate background of the bands involved. German prog rockers Can released the weirdly groovy Vitamin C in 1972 and then in 1973 a very similar introductory bass line appeared on the debut album of 24 Carat Black, a black american funk band signed to the legendary Stax label (home of Isaac Hayes). Can are still a pretty cult band now, let alone in 1973, before file sharing and Youtube, Can albums were hard to get even in Europe, so it is interesting that an American band, let alone a black band would have even heard of let alone ripped off Can!
Gorillaz: Feel Good Inc vs U2: Staring at the Sun
Everyone knows that Damon Albarn is now seen as some opera composing national treasure despite his former incarnation as a complete dickhead when the clown prince of Britpop. Gorillaz became inexplicably popular, mainly because we didn't have to see "Damian All-Bran"'s little ratty face in the vidz and the music made some concessions to modern tastes rather than trying to sound like The Kinks on coke. Not only that but they were "cool", doubly gratifying to "the artist formerly known as a prick" as former arch rivals Oasis slid into self parody. However amid all the middle eastern synths and guest rappers some less enticing inspiration hid like a turd in a punch bowl within the middle of "Feel Good Inc"...Check the folky melody that comes in at about 1 .05 minutes and compare to the verses of the dreaded U2's hideous Castalike "Staring at the Sun", oddly seen at the time as U2's belated repost to Britpop...
Led Zeppelin: Stairway to Heaven vs Spirit: Taurus
The mighty Zep were world famous for ripping off old blues singers and not paying them a jot, even as the platinum records mounted up, but it is less well known that they also raided lots of American psych for ideas with a similar lack of reimbursement. "Stairway" is beyond parody by now, mocked by both Waynes World (denied!), Dread Zeppelin and The Butthole Surfers with their album "Hairway to Heaven". But its famous intro is a straight steal from obscure hippy band Spirit and their instrumental "Taurus". Zeppelin toured with Spirit on their first US tour which is where they must have got the idea...By the way I have got into Spirit and their excellent album "The 12 Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus", but when I tried to convert my hip hop loving friend to it but he loathed them...don't you hate when that happens!
Texas: Say What You Want vs Marvin Gaye: Sexual Healing
Texas will occupy the same circle of hell as Simply Red and Go West, horrible horrible Ikea "soul" for people with plastic brains. Not content with writing grimly unpleasant elevator music they had the temerity to burgle Marvin Gaye's sultry classic 'Sexual Healing" for the hook of "Say What You Want"...ok then I will, this is shit! Check the bit at 0.35 in the Texas song with 0.42 in Gaye's. Some odd footnotes; apparently Gaye played all the instruments on the song and the title was inspired by a visit from co-writer David Ritz to the trailer in Belgium Marvin had somehow ended up in during his coke induced breakdown in the late 70's. Gaye had a vaste collection of dodgy porn which prompted Ritz to tell Gaye he needed some "sexual healing"...
The Beatles: Eleanor Rigby vs The Stranglers: Duchess
A lot of people at the time it was released said that the Manic Street Preachers No1 hit "If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next" is a steal from The Stranglers "Duchess", something I have never been able to decipher. I think "Duchess" itself sounds far more like a robbery of "Eleanor Rigby"...
The Doors: Hello I Love You vs The Kinks: All Day and All of The Night
The idiotic film "The Doors" portrayed Jimbo and his merry men as existential poets traveling into the heart of musical darkness, in fact they were as fond of cheesy garage pop as the desperately uncool Herman's Hermits (who are even mocked in the film). Trying to revive a career staggering under the weight of Jim Morrison's acid drenched ego and alcoholism they neatly borrowed the tune of The Kink's infinitely more rocking "All Day and All of The Night" and got a No1 in the states....
Blur: M.O.R vs David Bowie: Boys Keep Swinging
And bringing us full circle back to Damon Albarn and his days with Blur we have a robbery that they had to pay for. Successfully sued for the similarly between their track "M.O.R" and Bowie's "Boys Keep Swinging", the song credits now list Bowie and Brian Eno as co-writers. Thankfully for Blur the track was only a minor hit. I don't see a massive similarity myself but then I'm not a music business lawyer thank Ja!
Maningrey
And bringing us full circle back to Damon Albarn and his days with Blur we have a robbery that they had to pay for. Successfully sued for the similarly between their track "M.O.R" and Bowie's "Boys Keep Swinging", the song credits now list Bowie and Brian Eno as co-writers. Thankfully for Blur the track was only a minor hit. I don't see a massive similarity myself but then I'm not a music business lawyer thank Ja!
Maningrey
"Tune Burglers!" > read the full post
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Slash "Attacked"
Guitar hero par excellence Slash, he of the shaggy hair and perma shades has been "attacked" by an over enthusiastic fan...
I am not sure if this was a hate crime or simply over excitement by a stage diver, but half way through Slash's solo on Sweet Child O' Mine some nutter leaps on him and smashes his "axe" to the ground. My theory is that he was hired by Axl Rose or that the fan was driven to take action by the hideously out of tune mangling that passed for the solo...Commendably Slash picked the moaning guitar up and played on but frankly it was hard to tell the difference between the solo before or after the incident...
VIEW IT HERE!
"Slash "Attacked"" > read the full post
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Worst @**%ing Songs of All Time - part 1
We played a series of songs to Bingo the Chimp to determine which were the worst in history. We then left him in front of a type writer for a few years and he wrote down the results...read on to have your illusions shattered...
1) Every Breath You Take by The Police
Staggeringly unpleasant, not to mention boring, song about Sting creeping up some ex lover by stalking her. Maturely adding to the endless list of songs about why "women are dirty" he sings in a tone seemingly meant to suggest huskily dangerous sexuality but ends up sounding as alluring as Ted Bundy with a migraine (see above)...Anything that was remotely interesting about The Police, the intricate drumming, the ringing chords, is subsumed under Mr Tantric's leering vocal. This is, when all said and done, an AOR equivalent of "To Kill A Hooker" by N.W.A...
2) Yellow by Coldplay
So bland it actually starts to become a little frightening, like the nice quiet neighbor who "liked a drink and a chat" and then ends up blowing away half a village. I am almost certain that anyone as cheerily right on as Chris Martin will be unmasked as a pedo, at the very least the "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" inmate drummer (remember you heard it here first)...Apart from George Milton and Lennie Small (see above) the rest of the band look like those disabled kids who fell down mine shafts only to be rescued by Gentle Ben...Oh as for the song? Well it's a bag of gowl innit?
3) Baby Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
Sometimes you think surely the world is not that cynical and manipulative?? And then all your worst fears are confirmed as prostitutes are dismembered and dumped in bins, oil slicks fill the beaches, David Cameron gets elected and someone goes, "hey guys, lets write a song that implies a teenager prefers a good slug in the mouth to her boyf dumping her and then make a video that implies pedophilia, that will be a hit!". Rhianna certainly enjoyed a good beating...
4) Police and Thieves by The Clash
Generally revered for their Punk/ white reggae fusion (which led to The Police and UB40, cheers for that...) and terrible teeth, The Clash's first attempt at a reggae cover was more skunk than skank. Charging at the tune like the petrified bull in the art work above (by bassist Paul Simonon, fulfilling his rebel pose by becoming a sub sub Jack Vetriano) the end result is a writhing hair ball of mullets (Mick Jones), out of tune guitars and vocals (Joe Strummer) and a rhythm section that doesn't know if they should be on or off the beat (the other two)...It wouldn't be so bad if the original by Junior Murvin was not such a beautiful shimmering sound...Even the original songs producer, Lee Perry, thought the cover was shit...
5) Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
There is nothing so bad as being maudlin, everyone has a friend where they answer every question with "oh you know" and then look sorrowfully into the distance, and you want to scream and go, "for fuck sakes at least you're not living in North Korea"...This song, from its dripping opening chords to its drippy vocal melody to its drippy lyrics, screams "woe is me!". It's the boring rock star self pity that Warren Zevon lampooned in his caustic classic "Poor Poor Pitiful Me", boo hoo I take loads of drugs, boo hoo groupies keep blowing me, boo hoo I got loads of money which is why I take loads of drugs and groupies keep blowing me...It's all a tragedy as the Chilli's had the potential to be a good little funk band, but when this hit the charts every other single became an "affirmative" ballad from hell..
Bingo the Chimp
"Worst @**%ing Songs of All Time - part 1" > read the full post
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Musical?...Bored at work?
Everyone likes a good list, especially if it includes Elle Macpherson, although I always preferred the dark haired Jaclyn Smith to Farrah...but I digress, I have found a good site to while away the working day for the musically minded...
A group of completely unqualified dofuses have cobbled together a website consisting of loads of music related lists, including "Greatest Car Songs", Greatest Beach Music Songs" along with the more conventional "Greatest Rock Guitarists" and my personal favourite, "Greatest Symphonic Power Metal Songs"...
Like all such lists they drive you mad with rage while leaving you wondering why it should irritate you so much that some 16 year old pituitary retard living in a kennel in Ohio thinks that "Another One Bites The Dust" is a better bass line than "Good Times"....
Click HERE to waste a few hours of your life that you will never get back....There is also a write your own guitar tab and a guitar chord finder...
Don't get me started on the movie lists...
maningrey
"Musical?...Bored at work?" > read the full post
Monday, 5 April 2010
We're Jamming....
The Friday night jam session at the London School of Sound studios is starting to become the "in" place for virtuoso musicians...and the LSS students...
Check out the links below for clips of our last sessions chaotic free-for-all. Maningrey briefly joined in before heading to the pub, suitably chastened by his inability to play more than three chords while jazz fusion mayhem and poly-rhythmic world beat surged around him...
Our producer, Str8face himself gets all jiggy as the more tcehnicaly adept members of LSS run the voodoo down:
Groovy tabla and conga rhythms spoilt by your friends hamfisted slap bass which drowns out everything good being played by the others, including the singers lovely voice...
Here's hoping for more happy sessions in a room full of sweaty men and fragrant women...
maningrey
"We're Jamming...." > read the full post
Friday, 19 March 2010
Suck Satan Cock
It's amazing how wrong some people are about everything and how right some other people are....read on
I found this crazy list of ranting madness which I thoroughly enjoyed laughing at, just click the word below:
SATAN
in response here is some suitable commentary.
And finally..
maningrey
"Suck Satan Cock" > read the full post
Rock's Ugliest Frontmen
Some bands get by on good looks and talent, others just have to grit it out and hope the wind changes...
1)
Easy ladies! It's Leslie West from the aptly named Mountain, never mind Whole Lotta of Rosie, what about Whole Lotta of Hans Christian Andersen....
2)
Be good and don't go to jail, otherwise you may have to bunk up with this beauty, his name will be D. Boon (from punk funk legends The Minutemen) and your new name will be Candy.....
3)
Is it a swooping pterodactyl? A ravenous velociraptor? No its Geddy Lee from Rush...
What about the voice of Geddy Lee
How did it get so high?
I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
(I know him and he does!)
from the Pavement song "Stereo"
4)
Biff from metal band Saxon actually looks like a Saxon after a particularly vicious going over from a Norman lord, "out of my path varlet!". In that get up Robin Hood would surely have vetoed his joining the gang.
5)
If the warts don't get you going how about the Nazi cap? What no takers? Having a warty Nazi fetish must be pretty rare but don't worry I'm sure he still gets plenty of "jailbait".
6)
Once Mark Hollis' career with Talk Talk faded he found work as an extra in "Shameless" playing a drunk junkie with tourettes.
7)
Ok so technically John Bonham was not a frontman but I am trying to get to ten pictures OK? Whatever he more than earns his place with this striking combination of Long Distance Clara, a Zodiac Bear and a fly fisherman.
8)
Dez from Black Flag. I don't know whats worse, the blood or the face like a gerbil post fun with Richard Gear.
9)
Often considered the "thinking woman's crumpet", I think of him as the "thinking man's complete bender".
10)
What a sorry excuse for a band look! Like the cast of "Glengarry Glen Ross". These guys are here for the ugliness of their cold cold souls. They once sued an eagle sanctuary for having the website "eagles.com", they lost and now have to settle for "eaglesband.com"...sad really.
11)
Special bonus freak!!!
Punk madman G.G. Allin distinguished himself by covering himself in his own shit, vomiting on stage and waving his unpleasant appendage about much to the audiences disinterest. The phrase "trying to hard" springs to mind, as does "ugly troll". Still about 100 times more credible than The Eagles or Sting mind you.
Maningrey
"Rock's Ugliest Frontmen" > read the full post
Friday, 12 March 2010
Ferret Rock!
The humble ferret is a surprisingly unheralded influence on heavy rock music, but every time a lead guitarist steps up to strut his stuff the small woodland predator makes his presence felt....Here are my top six ferret faced heroes and the category of ferret they represent. Feel free to suggest your favorites.
1) Carlos Santana aka "King Ferret" against whom all must be judged. Carlos is an innovator in both his famous sustained guitar technique and his astounding ability to look like a ferret.
2) Paul Kossoff aka "Ferret Cross Bred with Mountain Orc". It gets cold in the alps of Middle Earth and sometimes you just need to curl up with whatever you can find, the Alpine Ferret proving a companionable mate.
3) Michael Schenker aka "Ferret Orgasming". Hey even ferrets have sexual fantasies, like being a blond viking playing a flying V.
4) Eddie Van Halen aka "The Tapping Ferret", a rare breed that only survives in the billowing coke dunes surrounding LA and emits the sound of a thousand bees making lurrrve.
5) Mick Ronson aka "The Felated Ferret". Poor Mick's career never recovered from being blown by Bowie on stage on '72, the only way to hide his shame was to disguise himself as a ferret.
6) Jimmy Page aka "The Well Dressed Ferret", what woodland party could fail to be impressed by this silk ensemble? Add the heroin fried sneer to the look and you are truly rocking.
Chez chez la femme!
maningrey
"Ferret Rock!" > read the full post
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Classic Rock...The Last Frontier
Its OK! Maningrey is back to liven up this blog from all the boring technical stuff! This week I am reviewing some classic rock for you...Listen without prejudice.
You know when you go through one of those periodic times when you are just bored of music and are waiting for the next thing to come along? You've done Afrobeat, strange compilations of Cambodian flute music that smell of dust, Grindcore, bluegrass, IDM (idiot's dance music)....What next? Well I made the leap into some classic rock. I found the rule of thumb is that great rock records are in the genre of "hard rock" ( blues based, songs about "hot mamas", drummers who can play disco beats, not afraid to sell out and stick ballads and funk tracks in the mix when careers on the wane) rather than "heavy metal" (no blues base at all like music designed by Hitler, songs about "jailbait" or even worse "wizard's sleeves", drummer who play two kits joined together, occasionally folk track about a lonely dragon when career is on the slide (it in)). Also the great records are either by bands just on the turn like week old cumberland sausages and hated by the "true" fans or albums that sold only two copies at the time due to being too "punk" for plaid wearing American teens. It also struck me that there is no earthly reason why "lovehunter" by Whitesnake is less profound than "like a rolling stone", what's more fun, getting laid by a rock chick with a pink thong or listening to some thin guy with a horrible voice whine on about his Siamese cat?
1) "Draw the Line" by Aerosmith
Lets make one thing clear, The 'Smith sucked from 1977 onwards, everything after this was filed straight into "hair metal" but for a short time they were the only band who seemed to herald punk rock and try to deal with it. This is their best album because it is the most fucked up, all the mythological themes of 70"s rock bundled together like one of those epic Norse sagas or Eldorado (the sobaditsgood 80"s drama not the place made of gold) and that great moment where technically proficient players have so many track marks in their arms they can only play like a punk rocker and there is no twiddling. The best thing about 70's rock is they were only one or two generations removed from the real blues guys, a lot of them jammed with them (ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons played with Lightning Hopkins) so there was a lot of swing and funk still left in the playing. Aerosmith's secret weapon was Joe Perry, whose playing mixed garage rock, jump blues, swing, country and funk. Although he is the epitome of the 70's metal player his intricate riffs sound a lot like Television or some of the odder punk that was going down at the same time, who were also influenced by similar sources. In the same light this is the album where Aerosmith found themselves caught between a massive drug habit and threatening new styles of music that were about to wipe them off the map, however they went out swinging even if the punch was like a blow from Mr Burns. Like old blues records they were so in the moment that the lyrics no longer seemed like posturing but were a direct view into the madness, you realised these guys were flying by the seats of their tasseled pants, the smack coursing round their veins made the playing looser as well so they started to groove, its so funky it makes "exile on mainstreet" sound like Joni Mitchell. You know when a band is on the way out when they no longer write middle 8's but just sort of all stop playing and you can hear guitar stands falling over and people swearing before the producer tells them they have only played for two minutes and they better get started again. Best tracks are "bright light fright" which is the only song to actually "get" punk thrash, about how Joe Perry is so wasted his bedroom is like, really messy dude and he just watching TV all day, "the two disco ones" which are clearly songs based around the same jam and then idiotically sequenced one after the other, they just said to the drummer "play something disco" and then after 8 minutes stopped and got the producer to chop the jam in two while they chopped out the lines, still fucking rocking though, the title track is great as well, it sounds like both the guitars are made of glass and has a really good shrieking bit at the end by Tyler, probably like when he found out he had a daughter he had not seen in 20 years. The only shit track is "kings and queens" which sounds like Genesis....
2) Storm Bringer by Deep Purple
This is generally deemed the worse album made by DP (double penetration?) and possible all of hard rock...The reason being it is not a heavy metal album but a soul album with really bad clothes. It shows how many drugs they must have been doing that after chucking out definitive metal screamer Ian Gillan, the rest of purple decided to get two soul singers in and let them completely take over the band. It is literally as if Metallica went from "master of puppets" to a next album that sounded like "future sex/love sounds". It sank Purple's career but its one of those great albums where you know you are the only person on earth who likes it and you can have your own club where only you and a pair of head phones are the member. If you skip the first track which is gothic metal toss then you have a string of funky jives that make your butt shake like something by the Average White Band but with added prog keyboard that goes "wowwwrrrrrrwowww" in that squidgy bit of the brain that processes da funk. The bass player has a fantastic treacly voice as if you are rubbing your face on a lovely velvet loon pant and later turned up to sing the hook on "america, what time is love" by KLF, now how fucking cult is that my friends? If KLF dig it then you should to....
3) Montrose by Montrose
Nothin' fancy nothin' pretentious just lots of words that miss out the "g" at the end in the lyrics, do that and call your album "montrose" by ermm "montrose" and get them jean dungarees out ya'll...It helps to all stand bare chested on the cover as well looking peeved that you just got laid off at the local Ford factory. If any music should have sounded tracked "blue collar", the 70's movie classic about autoworkers fighting evil unions it should have been this, but they chose Captain Beefheart instead...how boring. I like the fact that lots of music snobs will sneer at this music and force themselves to listen to the "authentic" "trout mask replica" instead, on their own, while dreaming of the girl they will never have the guts to ask out who works at the vegan stall in Camden Market, while the rest of us in the know (thats you now!) stick "montrose" by "montrose" on, slug Wild Turkey, have coke blow where the sun don't shine and fuck our girls in the ass on kitchen tables during parties cheered on by drunken masses (see picture above). The tricky bit is to ween your girlfriend off Judy Sill and play this instead....
4) Strangers in the Night by UFO
You were no one in 70's rock with out a double live album, in one fell swoop you told everybody you could really play, you showed you had enough great songs to fill two discs, you got to indulge your worst album cover fantasies (this one has eye burning join-the-dots pictures of people screaming on it) and you put out a sneaky greatest hits without admitting your career was over. Imagine an English AC/DC but with Paganini playing guitar and the really polite guy who in your local library singing in the shower. To be honest they would have been a bit bog standard if it wasn't for guitar whizz Michael Schenker, there is a bit in the "Anvil" documentary where the singer/guitarist goes up to Schenker at a festival and compares him to the "Beethoven of lead guitar" and that he plays his own axe with a vibrator to complete blank amusement by the blondy German. It sums it up though as Schenker can really spank his plank, the whole two records are just an excuse for him to blast away sounding like a cross between Tom Verlaine on heroin and Nigel Kennedy on crack. Rather than pretending to be all rebelious by recording a classical version of "purple haze", the freaky violinist should have covered "rock bottom"off this album, the best guitar wank by a white guy, period...What is it with Americans and saying "period"?
Anyway I have a party to go to and I have "montose" by "montrose" under my arm so until next time my only advice is "grow some balls and ask the vegan bitch out!".
Maningrey
"Classic Rock...The Last Frontier" > read the full post
Thursday, 11 February 2010
They Deserve To Die!!!!
Inspired by the Cannibal Corpse classic "They Deserve To Die" I decided to ignore the obvious candidates such as Hitler and David Cameron (mainly because they are both already dead, even if its just behind the eyes) and focus on music related criminals as this is after all a music related blog and not just for me to sound off on....
In no particular order:
Who deserves to die?
Players of fretless basses or the Chapman Stick (the fucking awful guitar bass mutant that various cunts have started busking with, I thought there was a talent test for buskers now?).
Exceptions?
No! Hit the fucking road Jaco!
Who deserves to die?
Anyone in a band with hair that looks like its been styled.
Exceptions?
The lead guitar guy out of Slade.
Who deserves to die?
Anyone in a band with hair that is an unkempt mess.
Exceptions?
Me because I found out that if your mother's dad kept his hair you do to.
Who deserves to die?
People who say they like all music or when you ask them to name a favorite band say "oh man thats like a really difficult questions", no it isn't you cunt. Off the top of my head in real time I love:
Aerosmith: Rocks
Dinosaur Jr: You're Living All Over me
Funkadelic: Free Your Mind and Your As Will Follow
Morbid Angel: Altar of Madness
Public Enemy: Fear of A Black Plant
See easy, now fuck off...
Exceptions?
No, in fact lets just say everyone who says they "love music" should be given the bullet...Actually maybe my friend Str8 who does genuinely seem to like ALL music. I've heard him go from James Chance to Patrice Rushen and he describes Abba as "gangsta"...
Who deserves to die?
White people who list Public Enemy as a favorite album and people who think they like reggae because they own an eight track of "Legend". Any musical "best album of all time blah blah" list that has token Rap, Reggae or Funk releases, if I see Exodus, It Takes a Nation Of Millions or Songs in The Key Of Life in another otherwise completely white stadium rock list I will become a murderer.
Exceptions?
No! Infact any list that has Revolver, Pet Sounds, Dark Side, Any Dylan and is then inevitably topped by OK "I wont be buying your recordings after this one" Computer. You should only read lists compiled with care and attention by Maningrey TM because they are tasty but miraculously also good for you like the delicious mulches my girlfriend eats.
Who deserves to die?
Any act that The Guardian might review.
Exceptions?
Ornette Coleman because he has a girls name.
Who deserves to die?
Any indie band who tell you their new album is influenced by - insert incredibly obvious record you have listened to for years - and that this feat makes them incredibly dangerous and daring and if it wasn't for them discovering this album beer would turn to blood in your glass and locusts would descend on the village bowling green and strip it bare. Any mention of Beefheart, Miles Davis, general Techno, Kraftwerk, My Life in The Bush Of Ghosts, Krautrock etc bores me to suicide, yours not mine.
Exceptions?
To be fair Radiohead droning on about Art Ensemble of Chicago made me buy a copy...it was toss...
Who deserves to die?
Music genres that either force woman to dress as prostitutes (R&B, "kiddy" pop) or make them dress like crack addicted bag ladies (metal/goth). Every time some pop star who should know better, thanks Maddona, goes on about how appearing with your arse hanging out is "empowering" for women you can hear the rumble of hooves of the horse that rode down Emily Davison now stampeding over woman's struggle for equality. All this getting your jugs out certainly helped empower Britney Spears I must say...empowered her all the way to the barbers...As for goth I hate seeing a lovely fresh faced child who should be out having fun with big mascara stains on her face, a home made tattoo still weeping pus and Burger King bag filled with the churning vomit of her inevitably lanky spotty black clad boyf, you can do so much better dear...
Exceptions?
Some goth girls look fit in their corsets...
Who deserves to die?
Anyone who goes on about a gig like it was a life changing event, it wasn't it was just four cunts playing a shit song you could have written. Also people who come up to me at gigs and start talking to me, like just because we both happen to enjoy such and such band, by some amazing coincidence, we have loads in common...We don't! Fuck off...
Exceptions?
Maybe someone who saw Can, Hendrix or Take That in their prime, that may have been life changing...
Who deserves to die?
Any bands who have a song called "Jailbait".
Exceptions?
Well I still like Motorhead despite the offense, at least its just a bonus track on No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith and I can turn off the album before it offends.
Who deserves to die?
People who can't distinguish between a good early period of a band and a shit later period but judge all the bands work on the later disasters. Acts in question include Aerosmith (Rocks and Draw the Line are pure punk, Love in A Elevator is like having coke blown up your urethra and not in a good way), ZZ Top (Tush, Jesus Just Left Chicago, Cheap Sunglasses, Rapemen covered Just Got paid for gods sake! All the other records people actually bought...shit), Yes (Close to The Edge, more genuinely bananas than anything Four Tet has done...all the rest should be buried alive), Bowie (everything up to Lodger is amazing, everything after Lodger has a fake tan and scary white fang caps).
Exceptions?
Some acts are totally shit whatever era: Dylan, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd etc...
Who deserves to die?
People who think they have musical talent, you don't, now just leave...
Exceptions?
Me again, I was young and misguided like a celebrity who did nudey shots that come back to haunt them.
Now die like a dog...
maningrey
"They Deserve To Die!!!!" > read the full post
In no particular order:
Who deserves to die?
Players of fretless basses or the Chapman Stick (the fucking awful guitar bass mutant that various cunts have started busking with, I thought there was a talent test for buskers now?).
Exceptions?
No! Hit the fucking road Jaco!
Who deserves to die?
Anyone in a band with hair that looks like its been styled.
Exceptions?
The lead guitar guy out of Slade.
Who deserves to die?
Anyone in a band with hair that is an unkempt mess.
Exceptions?
Me because I found out that if your mother's dad kept his hair you do to.
Who deserves to die?
People who say they like all music or when you ask them to name a favorite band say "oh man thats like a really difficult questions", no it isn't you cunt. Off the top of my head in real time I love:
Aerosmith: Rocks
Dinosaur Jr: You're Living All Over me
Funkadelic: Free Your Mind and Your As Will Follow
Morbid Angel: Altar of Madness
Public Enemy: Fear of A Black Plant
See easy, now fuck off...
Exceptions?
No, in fact lets just say everyone who says they "love music" should be given the bullet...Actually maybe my friend Str8 who does genuinely seem to like ALL music. I've heard him go from James Chance to Patrice Rushen and he describes Abba as "gangsta"...
Who deserves to die?
White people who list Public Enemy as a favorite album and people who think they like reggae because they own an eight track of "Legend". Any musical "best album of all time blah blah" list that has token Rap, Reggae or Funk releases, if I see Exodus, It Takes a Nation Of Millions or Songs in The Key Of Life in another otherwise completely white stadium rock list I will become a murderer.
Exceptions?
No! Infact any list that has Revolver, Pet Sounds, Dark Side, Any Dylan and is then inevitably topped by OK "I wont be buying your recordings after this one" Computer. You should only read lists compiled with care and attention by Maningrey TM because they are tasty but miraculously also good for you like the delicious mulches my girlfriend eats.
Who deserves to die?
Any act that The Guardian might review.
Exceptions?
Ornette Coleman because he has a girls name.
Who deserves to die?
Any indie band who tell you their new album is influenced by - insert incredibly obvious record you have listened to for years - and that this feat makes them incredibly dangerous and daring and if it wasn't for them discovering this album beer would turn to blood in your glass and locusts would descend on the village bowling green and strip it bare. Any mention of Beefheart, Miles Davis, general Techno, Kraftwerk, My Life in The Bush Of Ghosts, Krautrock etc bores me to suicide, yours not mine.
Exceptions?
To be fair Radiohead droning on about Art Ensemble of Chicago made me buy a copy...it was toss...
Who deserves to die?
Music genres that either force woman to dress as prostitutes (R&B, "kiddy" pop) or make them dress like crack addicted bag ladies (metal/goth). Every time some pop star who should know better, thanks Maddona, goes on about how appearing with your arse hanging out is "empowering" for women you can hear the rumble of hooves of the horse that rode down Emily Davison now stampeding over woman's struggle for equality. All this getting your jugs out certainly helped empower Britney Spears I must say...empowered her all the way to the barbers...As for goth I hate seeing a lovely fresh faced child who should be out having fun with big mascara stains on her face, a home made tattoo still weeping pus and Burger King bag filled with the churning vomit of her inevitably lanky spotty black clad boyf, you can do so much better dear...
Exceptions?
Some goth girls look fit in their corsets...
Who deserves to die?
Anyone who goes on about a gig like it was a life changing event, it wasn't it was just four cunts playing a shit song you could have written. Also people who come up to me at gigs and start talking to me, like just because we both happen to enjoy such and such band, by some amazing coincidence, we have loads in common...We don't! Fuck off...
Exceptions?
Maybe someone who saw Can, Hendrix or Take That in their prime, that may have been life changing...
Who deserves to die?
Any bands who have a song called "Jailbait".
Exceptions?
Well I still like Motorhead despite the offense, at least its just a bonus track on No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith and I can turn off the album before it offends.
Who deserves to die?
People who can't distinguish between a good early period of a band and a shit later period but judge all the bands work on the later disasters. Acts in question include Aerosmith (Rocks and Draw the Line are pure punk, Love in A Elevator is like having coke blown up your urethra and not in a good way), ZZ Top (Tush, Jesus Just Left Chicago, Cheap Sunglasses, Rapemen covered Just Got paid for gods sake! All the other records people actually bought...shit), Yes (Close to The Edge, more genuinely bananas than anything Four Tet has done...all the rest should be buried alive), Bowie (everything up to Lodger is amazing, everything after Lodger has a fake tan and scary white fang caps).
Exceptions?
Some acts are totally shit whatever era: Dylan, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd etc...
Who deserves to die?
People who think they have musical talent, you don't, now just leave...
Exceptions?
Me again, I was young and misguided like a celebrity who did nudey shots that come back to haunt them.
Now die like a dog...
maningrey
"They Deserve To Die!!!!" > read the full post
Monday, 26 October 2009
World's Greatest Song...
Read on for the world's greatest song, or at least the most irritating...
The track in question is Public Image Limited's "Fodderstompf", the very name implies grinding banality and the track was indeed a sneering knock off, shoved together to fill up the running time of their debut LP and deliver a two fingered assault to the record company and record buying public. Despite having a history of getting up peoples noses in his previous band the Sex Pistols John Lydon decided PIL were going to be a complete break with the Pistols swaggering pub rock, indeed he planned a complete break with all rock, the one consistent being the power to annoy. But I don't think even John Lydon and his merry men could have envisioned how unbelievably funny and teeth grinding this track would end up.
When every rock act these days, with the honorable exceptions of Slipknot and System of a Down, seem obsessed with telling their mildly depressed Mondeo driving fans that its OK to feel a bit worried but everything will be all right because lets face it you are white and western, a glutenous shower of platitudes that make you want to join the Taliban, PIL's irony saturated track comes over the hill like the sanity police and reminds us all to stop moaning so much about fuck all. When global warming grows teeth its not Keane fans who will have to worry, mores the pity, it's the poor bastards in the third world who will get the big Kahuna...
This reality, the hand ringing of the western privileged classes and the shafting of anyone else is echoed in the bottomless "black" sound of the music, the thin helium voices moan "we only wanted to be loved" in increasing derangement as the rumbling dub bass and eerie squelching synths buzz like tsetse fly in the bush.
One proviso the Youtube clip below proved incapable of translating the bass of the original which is virtually inaudible on the clip so download for the full glory. Without the groove the piss taking voices are unbearable for the full ten minutes however funny!
Maningrey
"World's Greatest Song..." > read the full post
The track in question is Public Image Limited's "Fodderstompf", the very name implies grinding banality and the track was indeed a sneering knock off, shoved together to fill up the running time of their debut LP and deliver a two fingered assault to the record company and record buying public. Despite having a history of getting up peoples noses in his previous band the Sex Pistols John Lydon decided PIL were going to be a complete break with the Pistols swaggering pub rock, indeed he planned a complete break with all rock, the one consistent being the power to annoy. But I don't think even John Lydon and his merry men could have envisioned how unbelievably funny and teeth grinding this track would end up.
When every rock act these days, with the honorable exceptions of Slipknot and System of a Down, seem obsessed with telling their mildly depressed Mondeo driving fans that its OK to feel a bit worried but everything will be all right because lets face it you are white and western, a glutenous shower of platitudes that make you want to join the Taliban, PIL's irony saturated track comes over the hill like the sanity police and reminds us all to stop moaning so much about fuck all. When global warming grows teeth its not Keane fans who will have to worry, mores the pity, it's the poor bastards in the third world who will get the big Kahuna...
This reality, the hand ringing of the western privileged classes and the shafting of anyone else is echoed in the bottomless "black" sound of the music, the thin helium voices moan "we only wanted to be loved" in increasing derangement as the rumbling dub bass and eerie squelching synths buzz like tsetse fly in the bush.
One proviso the Youtube clip below proved incapable of translating the bass of the original which is virtually inaudible on the clip so download for the full glory. Without the groove the piss taking voices are unbearable for the full ten minutes however funny!
Maningrey
"World's Greatest Song..." > read the full post
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Kurt Cobain raps and sings Bon Jovi
If you want to see the positive side, this could be your best argument to convince someone that killing yourself is bad. Rather than being the tragic romantic gesture, the ultimate rebellion against the system, or whatever other misconception your average teenage goth might have, it turns out that suicide is the quickest way to be made in to a money-making puppet – now legally owned by a giant capitalistic corporation.
(Watch the video at the end of this post)
In short, the latest version of Guitar Hero has a bonus mode in which you can get a 3D version of Kurt Cobain to sing songs from a number of other artists. Some of them, you could say, quite not what Cobain would have ever wanted to be associated with, in life or death.
And while there is some debate to the amount of blame to attribute to Cobain's widow, selling the rights to use his image to Activision, it should be pointed out that every single retarded person who buys Guitar Hero is fundamentally supporting this thing.
I do appreciate that in saying so I am probably offending a large part of the readers of this blog, but hey, maybe you like seeing Kurt Cobain singing Bon Jovi. I can't really say that I am that bothered myself, personally I find more offensive the concept of a game which uses music to reward your ability to follow orders and doesn't involve the slightest amount of creativity.
But I am digressing.
Activision's CEO has so far responded to the criticism of fans around the world "We went and spoke directly to the estate and made it crystal clear, got the rights, paid for the rights, and really we've done what we've always done.”
Business as usual then. Well, if you think hilarious to see Cobain singing light-hearted pop songs, here below is a video for you. If you think this is a bit in poor taste, you should email Activision and tell them so. More importantly, if you don't like the idea of becoming part of Guitar Hero after you are dead, it's time to call a lawyer and make some amendments to your recording contract.
"Kurt Cobain raps and sings Bon Jovi" > read the full post
(Watch the video at the end of this post)
In short, the latest version of Guitar Hero has a bonus mode in which you can get a 3D version of Kurt Cobain to sing songs from a number of other artists. Some of them, you could say, quite not what Cobain would have ever wanted to be associated with, in life or death.
And while there is some debate to the amount of blame to attribute to Cobain's widow, selling the rights to use his image to Activision, it should be pointed out that every single retarded person who buys Guitar Hero is fundamentally supporting this thing.
I do appreciate that in saying so I am probably offending a large part of the readers of this blog, but hey, maybe you like seeing Kurt Cobain singing Bon Jovi. I can't really say that I am that bothered myself, personally I find more offensive the concept of a game which uses music to reward your ability to follow orders and doesn't involve the slightest amount of creativity.
But I am digressing.
Activision's CEO has so far responded to the criticism of fans around the world "We went and spoke directly to the estate and made it crystal clear, got the rights, paid for the rights, and really we've done what we've always done.”
Business as usual then. Well, if you think hilarious to see Cobain singing light-hearted pop songs, here below is a video for you. If you think this is a bit in poor taste, you should email Activision and tell them so. More importantly, if you don't like the idea of becoming part of Guitar Hero after you are dead, it's time to call a lawyer and make some amendments to your recording contract.
"Kurt Cobain raps and sings Bon Jovi" > read the full post
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